Month: July 2016

Find the Good & Dance Away the Bad


In the David Lynch film Wild at Heart, the lovely Lula keeps searching through the car radio dial to find music but all she can find is bad news, bad news, bad news.

Fed up with all the sh*t she keeps hearing on the radio she demands that her sweetheart, Sailor, find some music for them to listen to!

Loyal Sailor pulls the car over, finds music on the radio, the two of them run out into a field and a frantic dance party ensues! Good for the soul – good call Sailor & Lula.

Sailor & Lula instinctively knew how to find the good & dance away the bad.

What can we learn here? When the world is feeling overwhelmingly negative, change the channel, find what’s good and dance off that negative energy.

We have a lot of choices about what we let in and if our Facebook feed is feeling toxic, we can choose to take a break from it or even un-follow people who relish pointing out the negative.

We have a choice.

If we are feeling overwhelmed by negative energy it’s important to expel that energy, even if it’s a little awkward or angry in tone. Lula asked for what she needed. She yelled, but she was clear. Sure, we’d like to be calm, cool & collected but sometimes you just gotta yell it to expel it!

Then together Sailor & Lula found what was good, the music and the dancing, helping to further release the negativity and embrace the beauty of life too!

Being mindful, practicing gratitude and all that good stuff is exactly that, a practice. It comes out in fits & starts, stumbles and bumbles.

But if our aim is true, if we practice with patience and self love, if we choose to lean towards the positive and away from the toxic and negative, life and all it’s beautiful music opens up for us.

How to do it –

Change the Channel:
When negative people / energy is getting you down, change the channel, find your supportive, uplifting friends, take a break or even hide/unfriend negative messages / posts.

Find what’s good:
Find your favorite music, an uplifting story, talk with an awesome friend, look at cute animal videos, count all the positive things that happened that day/week, listen to your favorite funny podcast!

Dance it off:
Expel the negativity by talking it out, dancing it out, making art, do what feels good to let out the bad.

Be patient with yourself:
This is a practice and it’s gonna be messy, imperfect and potentially filled with unexpected emotions, love yourself now more than ever.

[This article originally appeared in Blazenfluff on July 19th, 2016]


Appreciation- how it can help. Life is beautiful and frustrating often in the same day. When I get irritated, frustrated, fed up, pissed, angry, it’s time for an appreciation break. But it might take a while to get there.

First I need to let off steam. That usually means talking to a buddy, crying, taking my dog for a walk, or house cleaning. Move, express, breathe, connect with others.

Let the frustration, humiliation and anger begin!

Then, I have cleared enough out to make room for appreciation aka taking in the good aka a gratitude practice aka seeing what’s working.

For example: yesterday I was so frustrated by a technology snafu that I burst into tears and sobbed all over the house. I had worked all morning on a project and smartly asked for assistance from a “pro” when I got stuck using a new tool.

Still, things didn’t work out as planned and I inadvertently invited my entire gmail address book to a test invite that was supposed to go to six friends.

Let the frustration, humiliation and anger begin!

After I got my yah-yahs out with a good cry and reassuring talk with my husband I took a nap, went swimming with a friend then fueled myself with a tasty dinner.

But I’m just not there yet and that’s ok.

Then, and only then, was I ready to really take in the good. Ideally I would like to access my gratitude in the moment of my irritating experience “what lesson am I learning here”, “aren’t I lucky to have a job where I can promote an event I’m so excited about?” But I’m just not there yet and that’s ok.

This morning I’m ready to fill my heart and mind with all I appreciate and that starts with the littlest things.

I let my dog out into the back yard and saw the vintage stone pagoda we got at an estate sale a few months ago, it’s beautifully weathered. I noticed my dog jauntily exploring the yard, so damn cute! I made myself a cup of coffee, yum, yum yummy.

I was ready to take in the good. My body was no longer tense and tight. So the good soaked in with no resistance.

I feel good. I see what is lovely and I’m sure I learned something yesterday but I don’t even need to know what that was. It’s a practice guys, and I’ll just keep practicing, and sharing the process as I go.


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